The Mother of All Losses

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The Mother of All Losses

Posted:19 Feb 2021

The Mother of All Losses is such a beautiful podcast – fabulous hosts Anna and Emily interview people not only about the grief of losing their mothers/maternal figures, but also about their mothers/maternal figures – and I was so happy to be asked on.

I talk about my gorgeous mum, Bibi (she was Big Bibi and I was – and still am in my cousins’ phone contacts – Little Bibi) — and about my grief at not having children.

I really enjoyed recording this and hope you enjoy listening to it. (There are some swears. IT’S NOT MY FAULT.)

Follow Anna, Emily and the pod on Twitter @annamburtt @BenitaEmily @TMOALpod 

World Childless Week

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World Childless Week

Posted:14 Sep 2020

‪This week is World Childless Week. I’ve made two films for the brilliant, just-launched, news platform MyPoint.TV about World Childless Week and what it’s like to not have kids in this #AsAMother world. In the videos I talk to the inspirational Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, and the wonderful Stephanie Phillips, founder of World Childless Week.
(Filmed and edited by super-talented Angus Davies. Find Angus on Insta @_angusdavies.)

Please watch and share.

Thank you. xx

Jody Day video

Stephanie Phillips video

What A Carry On

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What A Carry On

Posted:12 Sep 2020
Me and the Carry On crew Tracey, Michelle and (in front row) Rose

‪This was too much fun. Too. Much. Fun.

From my night wrapped in Harrison Ford’s sheets to dogging – via Button Soup and drive-ins – those Carry On gals got more than their money’s* worth from me.

Do follow @DollysDay, @rose_dykins and @mmccarthybrett on Twitter for more travel and @TheCarryOnPod #gold


Glass Door’s Sleep Out (Or In) 2020

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Glass Door's Sleep Out (Or In) 2020

Posted:04 Sep 2020

So proud to be part of this incredible event. I did the Glass Door Sleep Out last year and it was horrible and life-affirming. Horrible that we even have to think about homelessness in 2020 — and life-affirming that so many people did and donated and made the (sleepless) night so important to Glass Door, me, and, most importantly, the guests they help.

I’m honoured to be one of the presenters at this year’s Sleep Out (Or In).

I am also sleeping out again.

This is why.

I was ‘hidden homeless’ for 10 years and I know the damage that caused me – screwed my mental health/relationships/life – so God knows what living on the street does to a person.

I moved ‘home’ 30 times in that decade; 19 in two years. I ‘lived’ on a stranger’s sofa; stayed in friends of friends’ spare rooms (having to move between one address and another mid-week because one FoF’s girlfriend didn’t want me in the same building as her bloke); and, in the flat with syringes in the bathroom, had the joy of a man I’d never met walking into my bedroom as I was naked in bed.

This is not how we should live.

And I was lucky. People helped me. Some people get no help. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. A home is a basic need. And right.

Please help me raise awareness and funds.

Thank you.


Link for donations:

#InsideMyWardrobe podcast

By | Blog

#InsideMyWardrobe podcast

Posted:25 Jun 2020

I loved chatting with my brilliant friend Pipa Gordon on her fabulous #InsideMyWardrobe podcast. 

There was no mention of fashion — but lots on grief, pronatalism and The Great Recession*.

Three things:

  1. The pod is nowhere near as heavy as my words above imply
  2. I’m high-pitched and hyper. Can only imagine I’d fallen victim to an ‘accidental caffeine’ spike
  3. Please get your mind out of the gutter when you read the episode description


*© Daniel Ruiz Tizon


Dear Mariella

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Dear Mariella...

Posted:31 Jan 2020

Link: The full letter & response on

Dear Mariella

Why won’t you let your childless reader grieve? 

I’m 53, Mariella, and would say I’m pretty unshockable. But your column on Sunday – dismissing a grieving woman’s agony as a midlife crisis – drove me close to the Sertraline edge. 

‘It sounds like a midlife crisis, so visit your GP and focus on what you’ve achieved — not what you haven’t’… And pick up some Diazepam whilst you’re there — for the childless not by choice women and men who are reading this and can’t quite believe the level of #AsAMother those words have hit.

Seriously? You’re seriously so entitled – what, the parents’ monopoly on exhaustion isn’t enough? – you can’t even recognise or acknowledge or allow a childless person’s grief?

This line: ‘Instead of rueing your misfortune, write a list of all the amazing things you can do now you’re mature and solvent’… Do you know how this line reads to me? Do you want to feel how I feel when I read it? Well, Mariella, imagine one of your beloved children had died. And I wrote you this: ‘Instead of rueing your misfortune, write a list of all the amazing things you can do now X has gone. How you could spend the money you would’ve spent on his university fees, perhaps. Or what you can do with his now-empty bedroom. And, Mari, look, no more annoying teen “Harry Enfield character” moments. Lol!’


Sick Of Saying This of Hove